Vaughan Smith presents "Birds Of Western Springs"

Name: “King Darryl Campbell”

Likes: “Brown Leather Men’s shoes and standing in front of peasants flaunting my crown.”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Silvia Maxwell”

Dislikes: “Having a camera in my face”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Kelly Blake”

Why are you wearing a Bikini?: “Are you calling me fat?”

Favourite Food: “Gluten Free Bread.”

Name: “Betty Barnes”

Likes: “Short necks”

Dislikes: “When you tell your office mates you don’t want a cake for your birthday but they get you one anyway. DESPITE THE FACT YOU OBVIOUSLY HATE IT!”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Tom Quinn”

Likes: “What I can’t have…”

Why are you crying?: “I’m not crying.”

You’re obviously crying: “I MISS MY WIFE DAMNIT! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Jonathon Little”

Likes: “Pidgeot the Pokemon”

Whatcha doing there?: “Pidgeot’s signature move “The Hurricane””

Dislikes: “That attention whore Pikachu”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Susie Fisher”

Likes: “Hole gazing”

Your biggest self doubt at the moment: “That I’ll never know what’s at the bottom of this hole”

Dislikes: “The amount of things I’ve thrown down this hole”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Otis Singleton”

Likes: “All of life’s finest things”

Nice top hat: “This old thing?”

Dislikes: “Beneficiaries”

Favourite Food: “Artisan Bread.”

Name: “Johanna Williams”

What’s up with your leg?: “Result of an industrial accident.”

Is that a bolt?: “Yeah. I don’t want to talk about it.”

I have many follow up questions:  “……”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Sylvester Bennett”

Likes: “Football! Don’t call it soccer or we have issues”

Dislikes: “People who call it Soccer.”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Names: “Esther Fields, Sheila Ramirez & Carmen Owens”

Likes: “Golden boots.”

Dislikes: “WHEN I TELL ESTHER AND SHEILA I’M WEARING MY GOLD BOOTS AND THEY WEAR THEM ANYWAY!”

Favourite Food: “Bread x3”

Name: “Everett Saunders”

Likes: “Grass, big open paddocks, leather saddles.”

You seem to have a Horse’s head…: “Poppy Cock.”

Favourite Food: “Oaty Bread.”

Name: “Albert Bradley”

Likes: “Pretending to be awake but actually being asleep”

Dislikes: “Being disturbed”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Bridget Sandoval”

Likes: “A hard days work & the perfectly fried chip”

Occupation: “Owner of local takeaway shop”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name:  “Marcus Fox”

Likes: “Ciggies. Getting in fights.”

Weaknesses: “My bung wing.”

Why do you have a balloon?: “I’m off to my niece’s birthday party”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Grant Carpenter”

Likes: “Fishing & fishing humour, including, but not limited to, bumper stickers”

Dislikes: “Not Fishing”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Wallace Crawford”

Likes: “Lighting fires”

Dislikes: “Hanging around after lighting fires”

Where are you going?: “Away from that fire at speed”

Favourite Food: “Toasted Bread.”

Name: “Dale Holland”

Likes: “The NZ Flag”

Dislikes: “Any flag that isn’t the NZ flag”

Did you like Red Peak?: “F**k right off.”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Olivia Wade”

Likes: “Carbs.”

Dislikes: “Dieting”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Charlie Poole”

Dislikes: “Public Speaking…”

Worst recent memory: “Having to sing Bon Jovi at my work do & forgetting the words.”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Names: “Loren Valden, Louis Morrison, Ida Dean, Jackie Goodwin, Pauline Briggs, Cynthia Wolfe & Stephanie Nash”

Likes: “When everyone remembers their instruments for practice, AYE JACKIE!”

Dislikes: “When Jackie forgets her Saxophone.”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Janet Ingram”

Likes: “That’s not my martini back there.

I didn’t say it was: “It’s not.”

Okay I believe you: “I don’t have a drinking problem”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Greykap The Mystical”

Real Name: “Fredrick Yates”

Likes: “These mushrooms, my pet monkey, that whale way over there…”

Dislikes: “All of the above.”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Greg Williamson”

Likes: “Competitive Eating”

Greatest life achievement: “Winning a cup with my name on it.”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Names: “Gwen & Angela Holmes”

Likes: “My human ear – Gwen.  How skinny this vice on my head makes me look – Angela.”

Dislikes: “This bow. It’s distracting from my human ear – Gwen. This vice. I lied before – Angela”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Names: “One Eye Damon”

Likes: “My one working eye”

Dislikes: “The other eye.”

Why do you have a light on your head?: “Good one mate”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Names: “Mitchell Clark & Garrett Reeves”

Likes: “Ruggers and lads.”

Claim to fame: “Being Wester Springs first openly homosexual geese who play top grade rugby”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Janice Cunningham”

Likes: “Oh are you referring to my giant engagement ring?”

I hadn’t noticed: “Don’t be silly. Of course you have, look at it!”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Matthew Greer”

Likes: “My Formula One Go Kart”

Dislikes: “My lack of arms for steering”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Darrell Cobb”

Likes: “Windows 95 & 3.5inch floppy discs”

Dislikes: “Modern computer’s lack of floppy disc drives”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Names: “Leon Page & Floyd Newman”

Likes: “Halloween”

Dislikes: “Not wearing costumes”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “……”

Likes: “ ………… “

Dislikes: “……..”

You’re a bin aren’t you? “yes.”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Jacob Carter, PHD”

Likes: “Knowledge, studying, my degrees”

Dislikes: “The unlearned & ignorant”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Gerald Stokes”

Likes: “Taco Tuesday”

Dislikes: “Mortage foreclosures”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Shaun Cummings”

Likes: “Volunteer EMTing”

Dislikes: “That my helmet strap won’t fit over my bill so it awkwardly sits on top”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Laurie Abbott”

Likes: “Cool sunglasses and public pooping”

Dislikes: “That my poop have eyes”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Keith Cox”

Likes: “Your money”

Dislikes: “Having to stab someone, but I will”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Sheri Sanders”

Likes: “Balancing a noodle soup on my head”

Dislikes: “Thin plastic bowls teamed up with piping hot soup”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Kurt May & Alex Cain”

Likes: “Breaking the big stories at the Western Springs Gazette”

Dislikes: “When you can’t find a god damn note pad when you have an informant on the phone”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Bradley Alexander”

Likes: “Watching Golf”

Dislikes: “Never being able to see the ball when the Golfer hits it”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “David Schwartz”

Likes: “LARP, Live Action Role Play”

Dislikes: “When I can’t find my LARP pals or when I’m naturally camouflaged against the background of photos”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Brandon Henry”

Likes: “Going to the movies”

Dislikes: “Being late for the movies, I gotta go”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Mable Lambert”

Likes: “Rainbows and Glitter”

Under closer inspection you seem to be a unicorn: “Buuuuuusted”

Favourite Food: “Fairy Bread.”

Name: “Allison Thomas”

Likes: “Having a shower while in the bath”

Dislikes: “People asking questions during the bath/shower”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Names: “Brothers Guy Butler & Jermaine Simmons”

Likes: “Taking a moment of your time to talk about our savior Jesus Christ”

Dislikes: “Taking a moment to not talk about Jesus”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Genevieve Bradley”

Likes: “A tidy park”

Dislikes: “When someone throws a bloody cigarette on the ground when a BIN IS RIGHT THERE!”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Names: “Mercedes Simon & Rebecca Elliot”

Likes: “Ordering clothes off ASOS”

Dislikes: “Having to return them because they don’t look anything like they did online”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Marion Jeremy”

Likes: “Keeping up with the Kardashian Marathons on E!”

Dislikes: “When people pin price tags to me”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”

Name: “Kevin Chandler”

Likes: “My medal”

Dislikes: “Talking about my medal and people not asking what I got it for”

Favourite Food: “I GOT IT FOR ROWING!”

Favourite Food: “Bread.”