Child Psychologist Says Parents Should Stop Doing This to Their Children Because It's "Too Sexual"

If you've ever given your child an innocent peck on the lips, this child psychologist thinks you're doing wrong.

Dr Charlotte Reznick has warned parents against kissing their children on the lips because the act was “too sexual”.

The American doctor told The Sun that because the mouth was an erogenous zone, a kiss on a child’s lips “can be stimulating” and potentially confusing to children.

“If mummy kisses daddy on the mouth and vice versa, what does that mean, when I, a little girl or boy, kiss my parents on the mouth?” she said.

But Sydney-based clinical psychologist Heather Irvine-Rundle slammed those claims as “outrageous”, saying lip-kissing children was not an inherently sexual act.

She says this claim is the latest in a long list of ways vulnerable parents are being judged and criticised. 

“It’s an outrageous thing to say to parents. It absolutely does not take into account a special relationship that parents have with their children and the non-sexual nature from which that particular behaviour comes,” she told news.com.au.

“It also fails to take into account cultural issues as well. We know we come from a culture in which the idea of cheek-kissing and lip-kissing is something that’s kind of OK, but if you move to northern parts of the UK and particularly in parts of Scotland, that’s a really comfortable thing for people to do even into adulthood.

“It’s not sexual at all and I think the fact that it’s something we’re happy to do in public means that there’s nothing sinister about it.”

Ms Irvine-Rundle said lip-kissing was very different to kinds of touching that would be considered abusive to children.

“We teach kids that the type of touch that isn’t OK is the type that has to be kept secret, that (the child) can’t tell anyone about. It’s a touch that makes the child feel uncomfortable but they’re not allowed to say anything about it,” she said.

“We’ve taught our kids that they can speak up about the kind of touch they feel comfortable about, and we’re looking at cues from them when they don’t like it — and that’s the whole point of being a responsible parent. As soon as you make it a secret you know you’re heading down a pathway that could potentially be abusive ... and if you are doing anything that you wouldn’t feel comfortable telling a doctor that you’ve done, because they may see it as (being) wrong, then potentially what you are doing as a parent isn’t appropriate.

“But if you feel that it’s OK to do it in public — and you’re open to public scrutiny in those places — and it’s not of an abusive nature, then it just comes back to what’s appropriate within your family’s norms and values, and that may differ to others.”

She also said most children naturally ask their parents to stop kissing them on the lips when they reached primary school-age and are usually embarrassed about PDA in front of friends.

Stars are very familiar with being judged and their parenting style isn't excluded from judgement. Last month, football star David Beckham landed in a storm of controversy when a photo surfaced of his four-year-old daughter Harper using a dummy.

“Why do people feel they have the right to criticise a parent about their own children without having any facts?” Beckham fired back on Instagram.

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